Misogyny Gone Viral

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Why are so many men intimidated by any sign of strength in a woman? Does it threaten them somehow?  Do they feel like they’re losing their place in society? Is the mere idea that any woman may not NEED or WANT them infuriating? I’d really like to know because some of the things I hear men say or read in those lovely Facebook comment sections are so hateful to women thats it’s completely baffling! I mean, really…you mad?

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea where this hate comes from and it seems pointless and unfounded.  When a woman has opinions that she’s not ashamed to voice or strong convictions that make her who she is, men (not all, but many) run scared.  In fact, they not only run scared but they run, huddle in a corner together and bash her for speaking her mind! It seems that even in 2016…I repeat… in the year TWO THOUSAND AND SIXTEEN women are still preferred to be seen and not heard.  Be quiet. Mind your masculine partner. Submit…Please have SEVERAL seats!

Could someone please tell me where in the book of life it says that if a woman is independent, strong, or powerful that men become obsolete and must bring her down?  What are these men trying to protect?  From what I see it’s all based on fear.  Fear that we won’t need them, fear that we can do things better (or can’t do things better), and fear that there will be no one left for them to control if we as women take control of our lives, our wellbeing and ourselves. Let me be blunt…massage your fragile ego all by yourself because it’s not our job to do it for you. Your insecurities are showing. It’s such a shame, because women will always need men just like men will always need women. On a very basic and natural level this will always be true.  We should each lift each other up and be pillars of support for one another rather than trying to dominate or put the other in their place…and by the way that goes for men AND women.  Just like there are men who hate on women there are women who hate on men, and guess what? It’s all rubbish. Get it together.

Only Black Girl

I walk into my job and turn the corner towards the offices, of which mine is last.

In one office I spy all my co-workers.

What is this? A meeting? No one told me…how typical.

Why does everyone look so emotional?? One is sighing with a look of perfect contentment.  Others make exclamations…”Wow…”  “How?…” “Why?…”

Has something happened? Is this a private intimate moment between friends? Has something miraculous occurred and I missed the memo?  Why am I the one always left out?

I walk closer.  Another co-worker bursts into hysterical laughter as the conversation continues in muted tones.

Perhaps this is a happy occasion.  Someone has good news?

I walk up to one of the group, a grin on my face, eager to join in the camaraderie, wondering what event impacted this weekday morning so much more than any other.

I whisper to him, “Hey, whatcha talkin about?”

He grins at me in sheer delight, “Paul McCartney :D”

……”oh”……..

*pops tongue and keeps it moving down the hall*

Fav Song of the Week 2/16/16

Words can’t express how much I LOVE SIA.  Most of her songs have so much raw emotion and when you really listen to the lyrics (glass of wine in hand) you’ll find yourself connecting to a place deep inside yourself without even knowing how the hell you got there.  She’s becoming one of my favorite artists and, unlike Adele (who I also love), she has many upbeat and fun songs as well.  I think of Sia and I think of overcoming obstacles, all of the bad things, and finding that stable place again. That place where you’re almost happy.  This is just one of the many Sia anthems that make my playlist, “Bird Set Free”.

Yes, We Matter…And Yes, You Do TOO

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I’ve tried, I’ve really tried to cut all you #AllLivesMatter ranters some slack out of misplaced sympathy towards your completely insensitive ignorance….I’m done now. I honestly cannot begin to understand why people are still ok with using that phrase. I’m browsing through comment sections like, honestly? This is really still a thing?? The reason why that phrase is disrespectful has been explained So Many Times I can’t count. In case you missed it:

#BlackLivesMatter was created because the Black community felt the need to state what should be obvious but clearly isn’t: that Black people matter. We are human beings the same as anyone else, citizens of this country that deserve equal treatment, opportunities and protection. We all are supposed to have these rights but when you look at our nation that is simply not the case (cop killings, media portrayals, incarceration rates). This is why people began to verbalize it, a way to say, “Hey, we matter TOO! Its about time we fixed this!” More or less when you say, “All lives matter” you’re downplaying the simple statement that Black people matter, that our lives matter. “Black Lives Matter” does not say that others don’t matter.  It’s not anti-police or anti-White.  We’re reminding the world that we matter TOO because that is easily forgotten. “All lives matter” is something said to shut us up and keep us in our place rather than raise us up. We don’t want to be raised over everyone else. We want equal treatment, and that goes for other races as well.  When Black Lives Matter gained speed I also saw a lot more publicity on Latino and especially Native American issues. This is about everybody. “Black Lives Matter” is simply a slogan started by the Black community because we were talking about problems specific to us that we’ve been struggling with for too long. But we’re not saying other races don’t have issues or don’t need raising up.  We all should be on the same level.

Now, most people get this by now but some of you guys are way behind the curve.  The even sadder part is that now  when people use it they almost say it like an attack…which is exactly what it is. “Police lives matter” also gained popularity which is arguably even more vile. We all know all police aren’t murderers and yes their lives matter…but why was the Black lives Matter movement started to begin with (refer to previous paragraph)? People were protesting largely in response to recent killings by police of unarmed Black men. Now “Police lives matter” has become a rebuttal and I have one more reason to never eat at Chik-fil-A again *sigh*. Anyway, I’m not trying to convert anyone over to the movement. I just needed to vent and I wish people would be more mindful of what they’re saying and what it really means. Do you care about Black lives? If yes, don’t say all lives matter or blue/police lives matter. If no, well, you know what THAT means and you can say what you like but I strongly advise you take a look at your life and sense of morality. That’s all.

Is #OscarsSoWhite Right?

There’s been a CRAZY amount of conversation about Jada Pinkett Smith and Spike Lee’s decision to boycott the Oscars due to the lack or recognition of people of color in Hollywood.  I support their decision and give them props for standing firm on something they obviously feel strongly about. Strangely, I haven’t seen many people with the same mindset, Black or White.  There are several arguments floating around but I thought I’d discuss the three that stand out most to me.

The first is one I’ve seen from a lot of different people that basically says there’s more important and far worse things going on (stating the obvious much?), so who  cares about an award ceremony? Stop boycotting and protest something legit.  No one said that we should all focus on the Oscars and stop caring about world hunger. It reminds of BLM and how some people say life is far harder for other people around the world so Blacks in America should quit complaining.  One injustice cannot devalue another. It may be the understatement of the year but, this is an imperfect world.  Its imperfect and too often unjust for MANY reasons.  Are we only supposed to focus on a few of them?  Jada and Spike Lee are a part of the entertainment field. This is THEIR industry so they should be the ones to spark that change. Who is going to fight for equal representation if not people like them?  We all should work within our own personal communities and circles to make changes for the better. It starts with small steps in small spaces and gradually the whole is improved. To me thats just common sense.

The next attack actually comes from Black people who say something to the effect of, “Stop whining about what White people won’t give you and create your own awards with your own standards!”….So, for anyone who may not get what they mean, this is basically how in the Black community we create things that caters to our culture and community and its nothing new.  Think of Soul Train Awards, BET, all Black casts, HBCU’s.  All of these are examples of things that were created for the Black community because something was lacking.  Now, I will admit that this is a very good point. We could make our own awards….BUT, bear with me here, something about that feels backwards to me, especially at a time where racial tensions seem to be rising in this country.  Do we really want to divide ourselves more? Is that a step backwards in the wrong direction?  There was certainly a need for us to create our own schools, films, shows and groups and in no way am I saying to do away with all of that.  Im just asking the question, In 2016, do we really need our own Oscars too? To me the best outcome wouldn’t be to have a predominantly White Oscars and a predominantly Black Oscars.  There should simply be one show that doesn’t exclude some but includes all.  However, I’m sure that’s a long time off and there are many factors involved…It has to start somewhere.

Lastly, I’ve heard comments like,”Who cares!? They’re still actors, they’re still famous and an award doesn’t always depict talent.”… Also true. However, to me the overall point of #OscarsSoWhite is that we need more representation of people of color and not just at award shows.  Of all the films watched that contribute to these nominations, how many Black actors were cast in comparison to White actors? Take it a step further, How many Asian? Native American?  The obvious issue is not just nominations, but there aren’t as many  actors of color to choose from because there aren’t that many actors of color in Hollywood period.  That’s how I see the fundamental problem.  It’s a lot harder to nominate Black actors/actresses if they just aren’t in these films. I don’t condemn Jada or Spike Lee for their actions but there is definitely room for them and others to do more.  Go after the studios who make the films as well, and as the general public we could take a stand by avoiding the theaters when diversity is lacking in popular films. There is a great deal of power in the American dollar.  There needs to be a collective effort by actors, viewers, and ticket buyers to force a real change.

Lord, Why Did You Make Me Black

So, this was NOT WRITTEN BY ME. This poem was going around social media and I just thought it was so beautiful it was certainly worth sharing…

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord
Lord .. Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone
the world would hold back?…
Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet……
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets…

Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone
who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt…
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I’m useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
and think I should be abused?
Lord, I just don’t understand…
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?

Black is what people are “Labeled”
when others want to keep them away…
Black is the color of shadows cast…
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain’t right…
They don’t like my hair, they don’t like my
skin, as they say I’m too dark or too light!

Lord, don’t you think
it’s time to make a change?
Why don’t you redo creation
and make everyone the same?

God’s Reply:

Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal
from which beautiful diamonds are formed…
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
that grows the food you need…
Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow
can be found throughout every nation…
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb’s wool,
such a beautiful creature is he…
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes…
There’s a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain…
That’s why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds
from the hurricanes I create in September…
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss…they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time…
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back, that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn’t make you in the image of darkness…
I made you in the image of ME!

by RuNett Nia-Ebo

this poem was inspired by Genesis1:26-27

Genesis 1:26 and 27
And GOD said, “Let Us make man in Our image, and after Our likeness. So GOD created man in His own image, male and female He created them.”