The Great Divide

police lives matter, Black lives matter, Black Pride, Blue Lives Matter, race relations, racism, Institutionalized racism

A local police officer in my area died recently and it was a terribly tragic story. He was a war veteran, a husband, a father of two young children…it was the kind of story that makes your heart wrench. I felt for those involved when I first heard about it. I thought, “How sad!” ” What a shame!” “Those poor children!” It was a senseless loss of life. I hate senseless loss, and this one from some lunatic who got a hold of the officer’s gun. It was just such a shame.

As the days went on, I saw the expected outpouring of sadness, shock and condolences in my community. It seemed I couldn’t go anywhere without seeing the color blue, flags, ribbons, charities, so many acts of remembrance and honor for this man. He deserved every bit and more. I knew this…but in my spirit, something was becoming unsettled. I couldn’t put my finger on why, but I began to feel resentful of the concern and support I was seeing. Then I turned around and felt incredibly guilty about that resentment. As much as I tried to perish the thought, I couldn’t help wondering, as I looked at a “Blue Lives Matter” sign, why does no one in my community seem to give a crap when one of MY people is murdered senselessly?

Now, maybe to some readers that might seem petty. “This man died tragically in service. Why do you feel the need to bring up some kind of ‘Black Lives Matter’ agenda?” I imagine them saying. Well…because it applies. People act like there’s this Great Divide when it comes to Black people dying on the streets. As if, we had it coming while everyone else is an unfortunate victim. It’s the classic “Us” vs. “Them” mentality. But if I’ve learned anything from the past few days, its that we’re not at all different. We all feel and hurt the same, and if that much is true, then why are we being treated differently? The hard truth is, in my mostly White, slightly more conservative area, #BlackLivesMatter is met with indifference and sometimes even with aggression. I could very easily imagine some vandalism issues if a Black Lives Matter sign or Black Pride fist had been hung in solidarity following the deaths of Eric Garner and the like. One woman went on and on to me about this officer’s death and I sat there in silence because I couldn’t help but remember her own silence about Trayvon Martin and her discomfort when I brought up how sad it was, as if she didn’t want to speak her mind on the subject. I know many people like this, people who are outraged by one scenario but not the other. My question, and that of many others, is WHY?!

My community was so affected by the recent death of this officer because they felt a common connection to him. It was one of their own. Their protector, a local man at that, was lost and it was violently unfair. Is it hard to understand then, how I, as a Black woman, feel that same connection and that same sadness when I see an unarmed Black man gunned down on the street? When I read stories of Black children threatened with guns to their heads by the same police who are supposed to protect them? More to the point, if I as a Black woman can feel sadness and sympathy for this poor officer’s tragedy….why can’t some of my neighbors and the rest of the “All Lives Matter” and “Blue Lives Matter” advocates around this country, have that same sympathy for my people? Why is it ok to so many that we are disproportionately incarcerated and even killed on the streets in staggering numbers? Why, in 2018, do people of color still have to remind so many White people that we are one of you too? that we MATTER?

Black Lives Matter was started to bring light to police brutality and fight for change and against racial bias in our criminal justice system. “Police/Blue Lives Matter” was only created to be a counterargument to the former. There is no difference in loss between Black or White, Officer or Civilian, and this divide we’ve created is imaginary. Wrong is wrong, justice is justice, love is LOVE and we are all humans, first and foremost.  I am not angry at my community’s love and support for the fallen officer. I’m proud of them. It proves they are more than capable of solidarity and empathy. I’m angry that I don’t see that same love all across the board. It’s the overwhelming failure in understanding, the lack of humanity, the insane disconnect in this nation that’s agonizingly painful for me to experience daily. If you have a Police Lives Matter bumper sticker, why not a Black Lives Matter one right beside it? One is ok, but not the other. That is my issue in a nutshell. That officer should not have lost his life that day….and guess what? Trayvon Martin shouldn’t have died either. Philando Castile should not have died. Nia Wilson should not have died and Tamir Rice most certainly should not have died. Rest in Peace and God Bless Them All.

**Further Information: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/admist-the-escalating-racial-relations-in-america-it-doesnt-have-to-be-blue-lives-vs-black-lives
***Image taken from http://www.theodysseyonline.com

Misogyny Gone Viral

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Why are so many men intimidated by any sign of strength in a woman? Does it threaten them somehow?  Do they feel like they’re losing their place in society? Is the mere idea that any woman may not NEED or WANT them infuriating? I’d really like to know because some of the things I hear men say or read in those lovely Facebook comment sections are so hateful to women thats it’s completely baffling! I mean, really…you mad?

To be perfectly honest, I have no idea where this hate comes from and it seems pointless and unfounded.  When a woman has opinions that she’s not ashamed to voice or strong convictions that make her who she is, men (not all, but many) run scared.  In fact, they not only run scared but they run, huddle in a corner together and bash her for speaking her mind! It seems that even in 2016…I repeat… in the year TWO THOUSAND AND SIXTEEN women are still preferred to be seen and not heard.  Be quiet. Mind your masculine partner. Submit…Please have SEVERAL seats!

Could someone please tell me where in the book of life it says that if a woman is independent, strong, or powerful that men become obsolete and must bring her down?  What are these men trying to protect?  From what I see it’s all based on fear.  Fear that we won’t need them, fear that we can do things better (or can’t do things better), and fear that there will be no one left for them to control if we as women take control of our lives, our wellbeing and ourselves. Let me be blunt…massage your fragile ego all by yourself because it’s not our job to do it for you. Your insecurities are showing. It’s such a shame, because women will always need men just like men will always need women. On a very basic and natural level this will always be true.  We should each lift each other up and be pillars of support for one another rather than trying to dominate or put the other in their place…and by the way that goes for men AND women.  Just like there are men who hate on women there are women who hate on men, and guess what? It’s all rubbish. Get it together.